I Guess I Am Selfish
by Nightcrawlerlover
Summary: Oneshot. Set during Mainstream. Duncan agonizes over why he's so messed up.


**Here's a new X-Men: Evolution oneshot I cooked up one day. I was watching the Season 3 episode Mainstream, and I tried my best to get into the mind of the character Duncan Matthews in that episode. He's the epitome of the character that is there for some episodes, but not all of them. In my mind, I think that's nuts – or rather, very messed up. So I sat down and typed this up. I hope it's good, and I'm sorry it's short. (Quality over quantity – that's what I like, after all.)**

**Disclaimer: The geniuses at Marvel own X-Men: Evolution. I own the oneshots and stories I cook up from time to time.**

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I Guess I Am Selfish

**Duncan's POV**

How did I get so messed up?

I mean, I am a jock football player. I have the looks for girls to be attracted to me. And I am kind of cool...

I think. Or maybe it's because I don't use my brain the right way. When I _do _use my brain, it's to make fun of the mutants or people who are different from me.

But then why do I feel so bad?

Oh, wait. Now I remember...

_"Jean, I just want to say this doesn't change anything," I said._

_"It doesn't?" she asked._

_"Of course not. I'm willing to overlook your little problem completely," I replied. However, mentally and immediately I felt like kicking myself, while at the same time wishing I had chosen better words. _

_"**Problem?**" she hissed. _

_"Yeah," I said. "Besides, we could really put your mind-reading powers to good use, such as during the exams, or when we go-"_

_"You – you lughead! We are so through!" she said while first pushing my arm off her shoulder and then looking me in the eyes while placing her left index finger on my chest, her eyebrows furrowed. I could tell she was serious about what she had said. _

I guess that's how breakups are when you're in high school and how divorces are when you're an adult.

Divorce is hard on everybody – and not just the couple who decided on the divorce in the first place. No. Divorce hurts everybody, and in a big way, too.

I should know. My parents are divorced.

My dad – I guess I'm a little bit like him in the selfishness department. I remember when I was little. I was in a store with him and I saw this little bank for a charity. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a penny. Then I reached over and was about to put the penny in.

A hand reached over and pulled my hand away. I slipped the penny back in my pocket.

"Don't even _think _about it, Duncan."

"But, dad-!"

He didn't listen to me. Instead he dragged me out to the car.

I still feel terrible about never getting to put that penny into the little charity bank.

And I kind of miss my dad now that he's gone.

Then there's my mom. I remember her comforting me whenever I got bruises or cuts on my legs and arms. But I also remember...those nights.

There were nights of when I would hear them fight – especially when they thought I was asleep when I really wasn't.

_The screaming was getting louder as I sat on the top of the stairs. I was hidden from their sight, and could still hear everything they were saying. _

_"When I found you, you were a drunk, wasted away in a bar!" my mother's voice – shrill when she was yelling and soft when she was being gentle – said._

_"And when I found **you**, you were dancing around a pole in a bar. And look, even now you still are!" my father hissed in reply._

_"Well, I'm making money, which is more than you can say," my mother snapped back._

_"What did you say?" my father yelled._

_"You heard what I said, psychopath!"_

Then the next night, my dad walked out on me and my mom. I was seven years old then. I would remember that night forever. Maybe for the rest of my life, possibly. Often now, or whenever I'm alone, I cry in private, and I wish that my parents were still together.

Even now, I also wish I wasn't selfish. I wish I was kind, forgiving and always wanting to widen my circle of friends. But I guess I _am _kind of selfish.

More importantly, though, I wish I was able to break the stereotypes – of jocks, preppies and all that stuff. And I wish for something else too. I wish that I was just a good guy who would actually like being a mutant if I was one.

And I **hate **being stereotyped. It hurts, bigtime.

It's almost like if you're an actor or actress, and you get typecast because of a role that makes you famous. And that probably has to hurt too.

I know what typecasting is. It's the process by which a film, TV, or stage actor is strongly identified with a specific character, one or more particular roles, or characters with the same traits or ethnic grouping.

There have been instances in which an actor has been so strongly identified with a role as to make it impossible for him or her to find work playing other characters.

I remember the movie **The Karate Kid**, and I knew which character I disliked. It was that guy that picked on Daniel LaRusso – who was the character I liked best of all mostly because he was the protagonist (another name for "hero", and a neat one too). The name of the guy that picked on Daniel was Johnny Lawrence. Sometimes, I wished I was in the movie so I could defend Daniel and knock out Johnny and his pals at the same time. That would teach them a lesson.

And I cheered for Daniel when he was able to beat Johnny in that karate tournament, and Johnny becomes his _former rival_. In my opinion, it was a great scene.

And Johnny's teacher, John Kreese, was definitely a sore loser too. When I watched the beginning scene for **The Karate Kid Part II, **I picked up on something neat. While Johnny was perfectly fine with his winning the trophy for second place, Mr. Kreese certainly wasn't. In fact, Mr. Kreese smashed the trophy and then physically attacked Johnny so viciously (while almost making Johnny feel some remorse, especially when remembering how he had bullied Daniel before Daniel won the All-Valley Karate Tournament and won not only Johnny's respect, but also the respect of Johnny's friends as well_). _Then Mr. Miyagi (played very awesomely by actor Pat Morita) steps in and teaches Mr. Kreese some manners, and in a very humorous way too. If I was in Mr. Kreese's place, I would accept defeat graciously, as well as learn a lesson (usually the hard way) – namely, that there is always someone out there who is better than others, especially when it comes to excelling at certain things they can do and talents and skills they have.

Plus, if I knew how to do karate (and other martial arts such as kung-fu) and was a mutant, I could inspire everyone, mutants and humans alike.

But I suppose I can't.

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**Well, I hope you liked it. I worked really hard on it!**

**~Nightcrawlerlover**


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